Worthless
by wolfspirit34
Summary: Alternate Universe. After another disastrous world in pieces, Ash begins to lose his mind from everything he saw. Bernkestal is just refusing to let him go; he's hers, after all. Cover credit goes to GreatPeace.


_(Sorry, finals got in the way of this ^^') This goes along with a theory my sister AmeNeko and I have shared for a while about why Ash remains ten throughout the series. The theory is somewhat similar to the repeated worlds in Higurashi, as well as the whole "kakera" and "gamepiece" thing from Umineko. I'd say more, but it gets slowly revealed through this. Anyways, I'm probably gonna have to rate this M because of the disturbing imagery, physiological drama, angst, and some odd stuff near the end. This is heavily inspired by the Massacre chapters in Higurashi Kai as well as some Umineko stuff from EP5, so yeah, it contains a little bit of spoilers for those (but hardly any). The "-chan" suffix is also used here. I know that the fic is listed as an "Ash/Bernkastel" one, and yes, it is to a certain extent. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon, Umineko no Naku Koro ni, or Higurashi no Naku Koro ni. They belong to their respected owners._

.~.

Worthless

.~,

It was cold. That was the first thing that Ash noticed; the bitter touch that chilled his very marrow. It was…strange.

Cautiously, slowly, he opened a single eye. He saw an entirety of space, inked a violet shaded darkness with dull shadows and smog. It wasn't difficult to adjust to, as he felt like he had already been in blackness before this. But what…_had_ happened before this?

Ash squinted a tad, trying to summon up any previous events that may have happened before. What came up into his head was just vacancy. Well, it was _black_ vacancy, to be precise. It was as if someone had wiped his head clean of anything beforehand. He raised a hand, moving his bangs from his face in order to get a better view, and then he saw _it_.

_It_ actually wasn't just a solitary object, as there were several of them. Floating and twirling within the area were crystals, glinting with unknown light that illuminated the space ever so gently. An amalgam of colours flickered against the material, although it didn't seem to disrupt Ash's focus, instead mingling with it, making it vaguely easier to point out the locations of the others.

A certain one danced close to him, and he reached out a hand to get a close look. It felt smooth, almost like glass, with an iciness that matched the air around it. The hues seemed to react to his touch, rippling across the surface and appearing to send a message to the other colours. Instantly, an image swirled on the exterior, brighter than the original intensity the crystal had been before. Ash blinked away the dots that swirled behind his eye lids, and once again opened his eyes with care.

The representation was something of a figure, lying within the grass and trees. The likeness was blurry, the outline gradually becoming sharper with more detail twisting on the picture. He rubbed his thumb absentmindedly on it, trying to see it better.

He saw moonlight shafting through leaves and branches, speckling the collapsed stature with bluish-white radiance. The grass was intermingling with this, but the closer it was to the figure, the darker and glossier the greenery became. This could've been brushed off as a shadow of some sort, but Ash could see that it wasn't. He leaned forward a bit, slowly moving his hand to the edge of the crystal, and the image became clearer.

Blood, not shadow. It was a pool of crimson blood that shined like its own gem in the greensward.

Ash breathed in, his heart starting to beat a little faster than it had before. He wanted to shove the manifested crystalized image away, but his curiosity immobilized him. It could've been from the shock, too, or maybe just fear, but who could tell?

The crystal, like a camera, seemed to zoom into the figure, more like a _corpse_ now, the deep red of the blood becoming clearer. Was blood that colour, Ash wondered, or was the light playing with his eyes? It couldn't be such a deep, deadly shade of red, right? He knew that it _was_ red, but the tone of it made his skin begin to crawl, like a hoard of spiders creeping up his sleeves.

It was a young boy, maybe eleven or so, lying in the disarray of violence in a much mangled position. His limbs were intact, but one of the arms was twisted around so awkwardly that it made Ash flinch, his own arm beginning to throb a bit at the sight. He could see some wounds upon the flesh, dried blood crusting some, or freshly dripping from others. It hadn't started to decompose yet, as he could tell, but it was starting to. He shivered when he saw something moving inside one of the wounds…_something white and very small_…

The throat had been slashed open, no, more like torn _into_. It wasn't a clean cut, either, as there were uneven nicks on the bloodstained skin, some almost wrapping entirely around the neck. Ash made a motion towards his own throat, the warmth emerging from the contact sending relief through him, but he was still trembling. There was only so much the boy could take before he would crack.

The crystal didn't seem to really care about his fear, though; it continued to close in closer, ruthlessly showing more parts of the carcass. The face of it was creeping into view, a frightened, fearful face with blood running from the eyes like tears of cerise rainwater. The eyes had been emptied from life, only showing an endless tunnel of darkened expiry in a russet shade. Raven coloured bangs fell across the face, covering up parts of a head cut, the rest of the hair sticking in an awkward, jumbled mess of black and red.

Two little scars on the cheeks…two little zig-zag marks that almost made Ash hurl his stomach from his mouth, _That's me._

His heart started to go what felt was a thousand miles a minute, his heart writhing in his chest like a hissing, frightened viper. He stumbled backwards, the crystal being released roughly from his hand, and the image upon it fizzled away, returning to the endless shades of purple and blue hues. Ash covered his mouth, breathing heavily into it and his body heating up from the whirlpool of confusion spinning in his head.

_That was me! That was my dead body! How in the heck….?_ His mind asked a million questions at once, but this only made his trepidation rise higher. He shook his head, trying to fling them all away, but they remained stuck, again reforming into new demands, _Where am I? Why am I here? What happened before this? Am I dead? What are those crystals?_

"Ah, it seems that you failed again. Such a pity you're so fragile."

Ash turned around, trying to find the source of the voice, "Eh? Who's there?" he yelped, surprised of the hoarseness of his own voice, "Who…?"

"No need to be so startled," the voice drawled on teasingly, "It's just your dear master coming to check on you~"

"Nn…?"

Light footfalls resonated throughout the space, sending a few crystals whirling away as the new figure began to appear. Ash tried to get a better look, but an explosive flash of silver butterflies blinded him momentarily, and he saw a pair of shoes in front of him. Confusion flickered like a lamplight in his head. His eyes slowly traveled upwards, but _too_ soon he was staring face to face with the person.

A simple, black and white dress arose around her, curling around her legs and body, the spotless sleeves drooping gracefully to her side. A small indigo ribbon was placed neatly on her dress front, moving ever so slightly from the strange gravitation of the realm. A dark cat tail peeped from under her outfit, black as night with a decorative ribbon tied onto it. Long, straight purple hair fell from her head to her back, with blank, lavender eyes staring down coldly at him. She smiled, callously, at him, and spoke with a voice tinged with dismay, "Such a pity indeed. Just when I, Bernkastel, thought that I'd win."

Bernkastel, a name that Ash knew so well. A name that he feared, loved, and hated. He tried to reply to his master, but the words got caught in the web of nervousness (and the perplexity was still there) threaded in his throat, "Ah…"

The Witch of Miracles shook her head at him, the smile remaining on her usual emotionless face, "It seems that the fragment was just as useless to you as the one before," she murmured, turning to look at a crystal. She laid a hand on it, and the image of Ash's dead body reappeared on the surface, "I see…" she turned herself back to Ash, "Again, like the one before, you were killed a handful of days after you came home. The number is the same as well. Eighteen days, correct? A little less than a month, it seems. I lost again…dammit."

Remembrances swarmed through Ash's head, everything resurfacing from the fog, "Oh…"

He remembered now. He could remember where he was, why he was here, and every other question that had teemed in his mind less than a minute ago. He collapsed to his knees, staring vacuously ahead of him, "_Oh_…"

The spoken word had no meaning. He was outside all of these worlds, all of these fragments or a different chapter. A single roll of the dice supplied a new story line for him to live, a new storyline that never seemed to change in ways, another game for the witch to play through. The journey to complete his goal-what was it again? Becoming a Pokémon Master? Like it meant anything to him anymore- and to compete in leagues-competitions that Ash slowly lost his interest in. He just wanted to get it all over with. When he returned home, he was supposed to wait until he'd heard of a new place to explore, a new place to continuously strive for his "goal" and live life in childish bliss.

That was what was supposed to happen. Throughout a record of a month, one of the days something would happen in his small town called Pallet. A murder; a strange occurrence in this peaceful village and the region in general.

Actually, it'd be odd for the _world _in general, because the Pocket Monster world was expected to be a happy, carefree dimension, quite uncorrupted compared to the darker, tarnished ones that darted around. Naturally, someone showing up dead was a surprise for everyone. It wasn't anyone of importance, the name losing its implication to the tale. Through a certain amount of days, a string of homicide began to form, but the people dead began to have significance to one another. And at the end…Ash himself would…would…

His breathing was getting uneven, tragedy ripping into him like a blade. He did _it_ again….he _died_ again…he _failed_ again…he _lost_ again…he buried his face into his shaking hands, trying to put himself back together. It wouldn't work though; he was already too broken, the pieces to far away to get back. His happy façade was beginning to crack as well, his innocence he had tried too hard to cling to had been destroyed. He was like trash thrown out without a second thought. No one cared much for that trash; they just wanted to get it away before it infected the rest of the clean air with its disgustingly pungent scent. He didn't want to contaminate his own friends' purity as well, so he had to keep everything hidden within him. He didn't want his dear companion Pikachu to worry over it as much as he did, and it hurt him…so _much_…

"Finally, you've remembered. The memories take so long to arrive that it pisses me off," Bernkastel's voice was taking a bit of a volume climb, "We need to prepare a bit for our new game board, because it's Lambadelta's turn for it and I have no idea what that girl may be planning."

Lambadelta. The other name rang in Ash's head. He quickly got to his feet again, "Lady…Lambadelta, milady…?" he asked, resisting the urge to cringe at the royal title. He was a game-piece after all, so he needed to show some respect towards any witch.

Yes. Bernkastel and Lambadelta were witches, having the abilities to reach into different _kakeras_-or other worlds- to play their ruthless games. Having seen Ash's "little" incident in his own realm, Bernkastel decided to make a game with him, as of seeing not a high probability of miracles. A game that had gone on tirelessly for an amount of…how long _was_ it? It felt like ages, but Ash hadn't physically aged one bit. He was still trapped in the body of an eleven year old, but the game had gone on for so much longer.

Bernkastel's tail flicked to the side, grasping another fragment, "Of course." She said with her voice low and even compared to her previous one. She wasn't smiling anymore, just her usually guise of an emotionless appearance, "Lambadelta promised to make it…a bit interesting to watch. I'm sure it's probably going to be as easy to get by as the last one she did. Do you remember it?"

"…Yes, milady, I do." Ash lied. He knew it was one of the first ones he did, but he couldn't quite remember it too well. It wasn't like he even _wanted_ to remember any of it.

"Good."

Silence followed, and Ash hoped he was dismissed by this conversation. He began to turn around, planning to go sulk in a corner and wait, but another swirl of silver butterflies appeared a couple meters away, parallel to Bernkastel. Vanishing into what looked like flickers of grey fragments, a new figure materialized in the domain, hands on her hips in childish dismay.

Her dress was a bright pink one with sleeves that bubbled up on her arms. Crimson bows were scattered around the garb in what one could call haphazard, with a single, smirking pin of a pumpkin held to her waist. A little, pearly necklace with a butterfly pinned to it, also red in colour, was at her throat. Her hair wasn't far off from being boy-short, blonde with a few more bows fastened to it along with her fuchsia hat. Her red eyes were glimmering with immature aversion.

"Come on, don't be such a sourpuss, Bern-chan!" the girl whined to the Witch of Miracles almost instantly, "I personally thought that mine was _great_!"

Bernkastel rolled her eyes at the newcomer, "Lady Lambadelta. I'd thought you'd be coming here sooner or later," she mumbled to herself.

Ash blinked. Lambadelta was in general Bernkastel's "playmate" when it came to his chessboard. She wasn't as wound up like her fellow witch, but she had her little bursts of pouts or happiness or (this one made him shudder) of nefarious glee. He usually avoided her, but now it was impossible to. Matter of fact, she was striding right to him now.

"Oh, of _course_, you've still used the same piece this whole time?" Lambadelta said, irked, as she looked Ash over. "I thought that you'd ditch him for that other guy. He acts almost exactly like you, remember?"

"Paul was a waste of effort," Bernkastel said coldly, "Ash is _my_ piece, remember? Or did you forget?"

Lambadelta circled Ash, eyes gleaming with ruby curiousity, "No, no, I just assumed he was more your taste." She purred, "Guess _he'll_ have to do~" she snuck around behind him.

Ash tried to follow her with his eyes, but she was too quick. She darted around again and pinched his cheeks, "But then again, he's just so cute…" Lambadelta whispered, and Ash shuddered at the sudden hold that the witch had on him, "Nonetheless…!"

She pulled away, letting him go, smacking his cheeks, and sashayed next to Bernkastel. Ash recoiled forward at this, as she had shoved him forward before dancing away. He rubbed his face, the touch of the witch on him feeling just so wrong to him. Bernkastel had never handled him such a rough way, just _never_…

"Lambadelta, please don't violate my piece or I will be forced to put a scythe through you." Bernkastel ordered, her tone smooth and her expression not dislodging from the unresponsive countenance.

The Witch of Certainty frowned, "You poop-head."

Bernkastel coughed importantly, "Anyways, Lamb-chan, you did say it was _your_ turn to create the next game board?" she asked.

Lambadelta clapped her hands together, excitement etched in her expression and sparking little magenta flames in her eyes, "Yes! I had it prepared a _long_ time ago, Bern-chan! I might have to change it though, because you changed some things from the _last_ game."

Ash all the while just stood there and half-listened to the witches' conversation. Lambadelta's cheery personality was quite the opposite of his master's enclosed and quiet one. This was only his second time meeting with the blonde witch, and so far he had deducted that she was hyper, playful, and seemed to enjoy pissing off Bernkastel. He wanted to presume that the two of them were in something of a "relationship", but he wasn't able to wrap his head around this fact too well.

It was amusing, really, that even after so long, romance was that one thing his head was still pathetically naïve about. Sure, he understood heartbreak and death, but _love_? He could only just imagine it. The closest he had to a "relationship" was with his Pokémon best friend, Pikachu, and that couldn't be considered any sort of romantic attachment whatsoever. They cared for each other almost like one, but was it the same?

Maybe it was because he had never had time to actually _think_ about it. He was usually focused on trying and hoping to break from his fate of ever-repeated game boards, rhythmic death ticking like a pendulum at every end. He had never really thought about what would happen if he had stumbled upon that feeling of such passion towards another person…

"Is he even _listening_ to you?"

Ash jerked out of his thoughts at the sound of Lambadelta's voice. He blinked and realised he had been staring at them during his thought process. _Damn it. _"S-Sorry, milady," Ash apologized quickly, "Wh-what is it…milady?" the question ended with a more curious tone than meant.

His master wasn't there, as only the blonde witch stood idly, rocking on her heels and singing to herself in a somewhat silly high-pitched voice. Ash glanced around, _Wait, where'd she-_

Hands clamped hard on his shoulders, and he froze when a lethally cold voice that belonged to his master hissed in his ear, "Listen to me when I talk to you. You better make this game a great deal amusing…more than last time…okay?"

He felt her tail wrap around his legs, preventing movement and causing his heart to beat vigorously from fear and…possibly _excitement_? Bernkastel's grip tightened, her nails digging into Ash's skin. "Don't fail me…" she growled, "Or else I might just let you die."

She let him go, hands retracting, and Ash immediately collapsed to his knees, panting. He pressed his own hand against his shoulder, feeling it throb slightly from the slight abuse it had taken. There were probably indentations in his skin, he thought dimly, and they probably wouldn't go away for some time.

Bernkastel was in front of him again, a single, rotary crystal floating delicately in her hands. Lambadelta looked at it longingly, licking her lips as if she could almost taste her victory. The Witch of Miracles, however, merely pushed the mineral at Ash, "Go on," she rumbled, "Let us open this new game."

Ash swallowed, forcing courage onto him. He'd probably lose again and die…but he had no choice. He had to follow his master's wishes, or else he would cease to be. He sniffled, quietly, to himself before reaching out and laying his hand across the surface of "game board", and watched as vibrant colours surged like a tidal wave from it.

The new game had been opened, another chapter ready to be walked through. Ash closed his eyes in attempt to stop the tears from rolling down his now-cold cheeks, _When…will I be able to escape this madness? When can I go back to normal?_

He reopened his eyes, and by the gaze of the two witches looking at him intently, he probably wasn't going to escape anytime soon. What would he do if Bernkastel let him go, anyways? Die? He was her chess piece, and he had to serve her. He could do nothing but allow this twisted chance to come out to play. He wasn't worth anything here…he was…

_I'm just…_Ash thought as the tints enveloped him, _useless, absolutely worthless…_

.~.

_Aw, poor Ash *hugs*. He's my favourite character in this show, so hey, why the heck not play around with this? Anyways, I hope this wasn't too hard to understand. __**Shout-out to AmeNeko as she held on to this theory along with me, so I was inspired by her. Grazie!**__ Nonetheless, explaining this, Ash is Bernkastel's piece when it comes to Pokémon, and Lambadelta usually is the rival/the ones that beat the shit out of Ash during the tournaments. I'm not sure if this can fit into any "gap" between the series, but after 4__th__ or 5__th__ generation would probably be best. I know the "murders" sounded extremely last-minute, so if you have a better suggestion please do go ahead and say so in the review. I'd appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed this, though, and if you didn't, I apologise. ~Wolfie _


End file.
